5 Things Divorcing Parents Should Know

Attorney General Texas - 5 Things Divorcing Parents Should Know

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When you had your child or children your life changed from being focused on yourself to suddenly having to consider how all your life choices would impact the kids. That is the way it should be. What is in the child's best interest should all the time be a parent's top priority especially when considering divorce. The first thing you should know is our adversarial legal law is not child focused or house friendly. The emotional and financial price you pay when you each hire cut off separation lawyers is higher than you can now imagine.

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Before I became a separation attorney I was a special instruction teacher. My Masters is in special Education, focusing on teaching severely emotionally disturbed children, so I came to the law with a fine bias to act only in the best interest of the children. The 2nd important fact to know is how comfortable so many separation lawyers are in spending their client's college fund instead of swiftly and economically helping the combine to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 years of litigation and witnessing the total financial and emotional devastation of too many families I vowed to no longer take adversarial divorces and to do only separation mediation. In the following 3 years, after working with over 150 couples with 100% success rate, I am convinced that separation mediation should be the solution of first resort for 85% of the couples who are contemplating divorce. So the 3rd thing you need to know is there is an alternative to separation court, mediation.

It is easier to deal with a situation when basic facts is already known. In the 8 society asset states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin) asset group is pretty clear. What ever was totally owned prior to marriage or received by gift or heritage is cut off asset that goes to the spouse who owns it. If it was partially paid for using wages or income earned while the marriage, the "community" gains an interest in it that can be calculated. group of asset in society asset states is one of the easiest issues to deal with because it is so clear cut. But what about the other 42 states? These states use an equitable distribution law to divide marital property. Each state has its own rules that can be ascertained prior to beginning the separation process. So there is some uncertainty in non society asset states but an experienced lawyer/mediator generally knows what the court will do in most situations and can be a principal guide to couples who are unfamiliar with the laws. The 4th thing to keep in mind is that there is no point in fighting over asset division. You can protect your co-parenting association and end up with more asset if you divide all things the way a neutral 3rd party (mediator) suggests.

In litigated separation cases, child custody and visitation issues can be the most competitive and emotional. If the parents can agree to a custody arrangement, which they at last do in 90% of custody cases, they can avoid court altogether. Why should a combine wait until they are on the court steps to make a deal? Only 10% of custody cases are litigated. A combine could all the time seek the services of a child therapist to suggest them instead of going to court. The courts typically apply a "best interest of the child" proper in determining who should get traditional custody. Wouldn't the parents themselves be in the best position to rule how their children should be raised? When a combine works together in mediation they are in operate of the final outcome, not lawyers or judges. When the combine has an intention to effectively co-parent by all the time holding the best interest of the child important in their mind, they will produce a much more satisfying outcome than if a solution is imposed upon them from above. Child custody issues are the most inappropriate issues to be decided within an adversarial system. The win/lose game that is played in court all the time results in tension in the middle of the parents. Not only will this tension negatively influence the health and happiness of the parents but the children will be caught in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal and emotional bullets as they fly over their heads. The adversarial law does not protect the co-parenting association of parents and should be avoided if at all possible. An emotionally vulnerable client in the hands of a "zealous advocate" who is more involved with enriching themselves than in helping their client is a dangerous combination. The last thing to keep in mind is that avoiding separation attorneys and court should be the #1 priority if you want to protect your health, spirit, co-parenting association and pocketbook.

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